Solid Snake Facts

Solid Snake never aged. He just painted his hair white. Why you may ask? To make him easier to find. It's more fair that way.*

Solid Snake is father to 5 beautiful baby boxes.*

Solid Snake can choke a man with a cordless phone.*

The first rule of Fight Club was designed to ensure Solid Snake never found out about it. It didn't work.

Solid Snake once had sex with James Woods. It was the manliest, straightest sex the world has ever seen.

Solid Snake does not need to water board to get the information he wants.

The Maury Show is fake. If it were real, every paternity test would end with "You are not the father!" Solid Snake is everyone's daddy.



* Indicates Solid Snake facts provided by Shades. He's mexican. Stereotypically so.

-Buddy Jolly